Pizza Rolls

Chapter 27: Dragon Hatred   

Vlad Dracula hated humans. He hated being human. He hated interacting with humans. If he could eliminate the dragon ability to become human, he would. Honestly, if he could eliminate humans, he would do that too. They are so small and puny. They lived like 70 years, if they were lucky. They were so dumb and spent most of their time killing each other. Why any dragon would want to be in this form, or interact with humans at all was beyond him. Admittedly, that cobbler the other night was pretty tasty, but not tasty enough to justify changing forms. 

Unfortunately, some other members of the dragon council are too soft and were slightly alarmed by his anti-human rhetoric and challenges to their current policies regarding humans, which were basically to just ignore them. Vlad was convinced there was a better way. Maybe slavery? Maybe total extermination of the vermin? He was fine with either one, but no, the council was stalling all of his efforts to sway dragon kind to his side. They even had the audacity to order him to spend time in this useless form to “gain perspective” on why they valued human life. Ugh. they might as well ask him to spend time as a rat. Humans weren’t even worthy of being food for dragons, too many bones, not enough meat. Worthless. 

So what could have possessed Svend and Gregory to spend so much time here? To marry a human? The thought was vile. Vlad had been very tempted to end the whole charade at the wedding, but he knew the council would hear about it and then his forced human time would start over. Maybe he should pay this Svend boy a visit, then he could set him straight. Maybe he could ensure an “accident” befell his beloved wife in order to free Svend from the silly trap into which he had fallen so willingly. Fool of a dragon. No, Svend would never see the light. Even if Vlad took care of his wife, Svend would probably just dig his heels further into the human world out of spite. 

Vlad needed to get most of the dragon population against humans, not just Svend. He needed them to see that humans, as puny as they are, threatened the superior dragon life. Especially if dragons followed Svend’s lead and started mingling their bloodlines with humans. Dragons could be forever weakened. They could lose their dragon form and be stuck as humans forever! No. This was not acceptable. Svend must be made an example, but how to punish Svend so spectacularly that no other dragon dares to follow his path? Especially without drawing the wrath of the council. He needed to find dirt on Svend. He needed to discover something that would enrage even the conservative dragons so they would approve of his actions to eliminate Svend and his little human wife. But what? As far as he could tell, Svend’s only crime was being a fool who didn’t properly appreciate his superior ancestry. Maybe he could create some evidence. Obviously Svend deserved punishment, he could be Vlad’s scapegoat. But Vlad’s case must be airtight or the council will never approve his anti-human policies. He needed to proceed very carefully. It looks like his human form time would be productive after all. Maybe he could try a few human foods while he was stuck here. He saw something called “pizza rolls” at the wedding that looked less vile than those that made them. Maybe he should enslave humans after all, they could make him food whenever he wanted. It would be a shame to waste their culinary progress. As he walked down the center of the despicable village he found a bakery with the pizza rolls. Even Vlad grudgingly admitted that they were worth consuming. These are the rolls that he ate.